Bert Galleno & Cathy Dean
Parent Group on Diversity Co-Chairs
So, how do remarkable women lead? The answers are applicable for all of us.
There are many forms of diversity at SFDS. On February 8, the Parent Group on Diversity, with the help of SFDS alumna and McKinsey & Co. consultant Susie Cranston (’92), considered gender differences and the lessons learned from more than five years of research. This research focused on what drives and sustains successful female leaders. How can we establish links between joy, happiness, and distinctive performance in today’s work environment as well as in our personal communities of interaction? More than 30 SFDS parents and administrators listened as Susie dissected the key findings from roughly 85 interviews with woman leaders globally.
At the beginning, the audience was challenged to consider what it is we expect to see in our own lives and how this expectation directly impacts what we ultimately find and experience. The lesson learned is that you see what you are looking for and often miss what you don’t expect, so we should consider a more open-minded and fact-based approach in our daily lives. That’s obvious, you say? Well, we all had a good laugh when a simple video experiment showed how grown adults can completely miss a man in a gorilla suit walking across the stage! (I know I was slightly embarrassed.)
So was this just an evening of self-help education on adult career improvement? Not at all. There were key lessons to be drawn for all of us as we consider our children (boys and girls). The key elements of McKinsey’s five-part framework for Centered Leadership can help us on how we guide our children to have a passion for what they do. Those key elements are meaning, framing, connecting, engaging, and energizing.
We listened as Susie had us consider “meaning” and the realization that the factors that determine our own happiness is 40% controllable and has zero correlation to financial income. We probably all hope our children find meaning in their lives. It critical that we continue to reevaluate why we do what we do. Or to put it another way, we need to reevaluate whether we should be doing what we are doing.
While finding meaning is important, “framing” our behavior and current situation in a positive light is critical to a successful path forward. Perhaps this is easier said than done, but the more we can focus on the facts of a given situation and avoid the distortion of negative feelings (anxiety, fear and stress), the better positioned we can be to take forward, constructive action. Is there a better formula for success and confidence building as our young ones face challenges in their own lives?
The SFDS community is a strong community. The act of “connecting” and finding a path towards belonging and reciprocity is as instrumental in our personal lives as it is in the workplace. In the face of adversity, will we fight, take flight, or freeze? Forming supportive relationships (mentors, friends, and confidants) is something we all strive for in life and is a key area in which we hope our children can find success.
How can we “engage” and take risks? How can we encourage our children to stand up and speak out? Listening to some of the interviews McKinsey conducted and hearing firsthand about some of these women’s challenges, whether in the boardroom or while on the school field trip, was enlightening and comforting. Making decisions and accepting reality while limiting emotional distress is a constant battle we all find ourselves waging.
“Energizing”: How can we put more of what energizes us into our lives and less of what depletes us? The choice is ours. It was interesting to hear the resounding view that a successful, ongoing, and consistent balance of work and life may well be a myth. It’s not about being in balance but about coming more into balance when you’re way off, Cranston explained. The key is to prioritize and be flexible. How many times have we told our own child, “you can do one or the other but not both”?
The night ended with an interactive Q&A session and the resounding view that we all need to be resilient and that resiliency is a powerful trait we all desire for our children. And whether it’s through the simple power of the pause or some combination of the five traits discussed in the McKinsey model, the elements of what makes us happy and successful adults are not dissimilar from the traits we hope to instill in our children.
Thank you to Susie and all who attended for making the evening truly worthwhile.
For more information on the elements discussed here, see Susie’s book “How Remarkable Women Lead: The Breakthrough Model for Work and Life” (Barsh & Cranston, Crown Business 2009).
