Renée Otero
Director of Diversity
Following best practices, we have been working to initiate forums to better support children of color at SFDS. In October, the school took a step toward this goal by starting a morning gathering for African American students. The response from parents and children alike has been overwhelmingly positive, prompting me to ask other families of color (Asian, Latino, and multi-racial) if they would be interested in having a similar option for their children. Based on their enthusiastic feedback, it is my pleasure to announce that we will be starting Identity Groups.
Amongst other things, these groups will provide students of color an opportunity to meet across grade levels to exchange stories and make connections with other students, faculty, staff, and visitors with whom they share a racial/ethnic identity. This is the only time for students of color to have an experience at SFDS in which they are the majority. In addition to spending time together, students will create a video montage to share with the rest of the SFDS student community.
I believe it is important for all of our students to understand the purpose of these meetings. To foster understanding about what the morning gatherings are and why we have them, I would like to share a discussion I had with the first graders. This format is how I will discuss them with all SFDS students. I hope this will provide some context as to how you can discuss these issues with your own children.
Beginning with the concept of windows and mirrors, I explained to the first graders that windows are opportunities to view experiences outside of yourself, while mirrors allow you to see yourself. As a class, we examined several picture books and identified our own windows and mirrors. Most agreed that windows and mirrors are wonderful to have in the world.
Pie was our next topic. I cut a pie chart into six pieces (example follows at the end of this article). The pie represented SFDS and the pieces of the pie were the students. The importance of the entire pie was strongly stressed — no matter where you fit in. One first grader quickly made the connection that some students have more mirrors than others at SFDS because some slices of the pie are bigger than others. Everyone agreed, while another first grader reasoned that the students who attend the African American gatherings must really like having the mirrors. Non-black students showed strong support and respect for the need of their African American classmates.
Racial discussions are valuable to children’s understanding of themselves and their world. All children want to know who they are, but too often they are unclear about race. The concept of race need not be emotional or difficult. In a multicultural society, people are of different races and there is nothing wrong acknowledging that fact. To ignore a person’s race is to dismiss an important aspect of that person.
Before speaking with your child, spend time thinking about your ideas of race. I suggest you consider the first time you realized race existed and examine your racial experiences. You may consider asking friends with different racial identities about their experiences. When speaking with your child, let their questions, observations, and interests guide the discussion. I prefer racial conversations to close with the idea of unity, because regardless of someone’s race (religion, ethnicity, gender, social class, or sexual orientation, etc.), we are all members of one amazing community — San Francisco Day School.
The first graders with whom I met left the discussion with new perspectives. Some students may continue to have questions, while others may not have given it a second thought. Both reactions are normal. However, all these children now have the vocabulary for talking about these differences in a way that is positive, and they understand that these gatherings are not about exclusion; instead they are about supporting students who are in the minority at our school.
If your child comes home wanting to discuss these issues, I encourage you to welcome the conversation. As always, my door is wide open if you want any support in figuring out how to have these conversations. Please feel free to contact me at any time to discuss this or any diversity matter.
